Get h Attorney n Games e Attorney Bang c Get e Attorney e Sections e Rich a0 Bang s Singlewomenadultservice a Child c Get 
S0n0lsearchwosearchesearcha Bang utsearcher0ic Sections 0 Child al Get dsearchPsearchr Custody i0n Custody s Online osearchy Rich e Attorney l Games r. She told a story that lasted 1,001 nights, ending each night’s session on a suspenseful note. Let every member of the family have an opportunity to tell part of the story you create together.
Go dancing without the stars. Turn on some music and cut a rug on your own rug. It’s a great way to get some exercise and is likely to leave everyone giggling.
Stage your own “Chopped” challenge. Set out an array of motley ingredients, start a timer and tell your little chef to create a culinary masterpiece. Plan to be on hand to help younger children with cutting and any cooking required, but let their creativity guide the final product.
“He isn’t even trying anymore.”
“She doesn’t care.”
Sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. Many couples go through times when one or both feel that they are the only one “working” on the relationship. It becomes frustrating to reflect on your relationship and see only those things that you do to make your relationship work. It can become a habit to focus only on those things that your partner ISN’T doing. When this habit forms it is likely that other bad habits form in its wake, including bouts of escalation when trying to discuss issues with your partner, or starting sentences that begin with, “You never… ” or “You always… .”
Especially if you have children together, it is important to find ways of relating to one another without damaging your closeness. One way to begin this process is called “Do Your Part.” This concept relies greatly on your ability to look closely at your thoughts and actions to bring about change in your relationship. In other words, in every situation, find a way to do the best you can. Whether that be choosing not to yell and scream, or choosing to do something nice for your partner even in times of irritation.
This does not mean you can change your relationship on your own. It takes two to make a relationship work over time. However, if both you and your partner begin a daily practice of “Do Your Part,” the need for each to focus on the other’s bad behavior will cease. This involves trust. You have to trust that your partner is doing everything he or she can to make your relationship and family life work, and vice versa. This also involves a lot of respect and kindness, both toward yourself and your partner.
“Do Your Part” can change the tone of your relationship. You will begin to process events in a different way. Instead of automatically going toward the one thing your partner did wrong, you will be thinking in “I” statements instead. Like, “What could I have done to make that conversation better?” or, “What could I do today to make my relationship stronger?”
If you would like to learn more about “Do Your Part,” and other concepts and skills to make your relationship strong, Family & Children’s Services offers a free class called Forever. For Real. In this class, couples learn together the skills needed to create a lasting and loving partnership.
Family & Children’s Services is asking local retailers to clear their racks. The agency’s popular warehouse sale fundraising event is just around the corner – and merchandise is needed!
F&CS will host its ninth annual Abersons & Friends Warehouse Sale on March 28-30, 2012, at its central office, 650 S. Peoria Avenue. Proceeds of the sale will help F&CS provide counseling, treatment and support services to children who’ve been abused, families in crisis and individuals faced with overwhelming problems or mental illness.
Local merchants can support the effort by donating unsold stock – including home décor, housewares; women’s, men’s and children’s clothing; accessories and more – to F&CS. The agency will coordinate pick up from stores. Participating merchants may take a tax deduction for any items they donate, will be listed in promotional materials and – best of all! – will have more room on their racks to display the latest spring merchandise.
Nearly 35 stores and hundreds of bargain-loving shoppers participated in last year’s Abersons & Friends Warehouse Sale. To get more information or schedule a pick up date, contact Rochelle Dowdell, the F&CS special events coordinator, at 918.560.1115 or rdowdell@fcsok.org.
As a priest, I referred numerous parishioners to Family & Children’s Services for help in dealing with mental health and substance abuse issues, family dysfunction and other problems. Then, five years ago, I joined the agency myself to provide assistance to mentally ill inmates being discharged from the Oklahoma State Department of Corrections.
Not many people know about our Re-entry Intensive Care Coordination Team (RICCT) program, which arose in response to the closing of state mental health facilities. The thought was that mentally ill individuals could be appropriately treated with new and emerging medications in community settings. However, the closing of inpatient facilities came before a network of community mental health agencies could be fully developed and funded. As a result, our nation’s prisons became the “new asylums,” with thousands of mentally ill individuals – who in other times likely would have received inpatient mental health treatment – cycling in and out of jail. While incarcerated, the mentally ill rarely receive services and supports that could help them lead more productive lives and are exposed to punitive, traumatic and often dangerous environments.
That’s where RICCT comes in. We help mentally ill individuals transition successfully into community life after imprisonment. My colleagues and I often secure transitional housing, clothing and other necessities for our clients, help them obtain medications and stay compliant with treatment, and offer other supports. Without the stability and assistance RICCT provides, many former inmates who live with severe mental illness would continue to cycle in and out of prison, living their lives on installments, with little hope of ever enjoying a productive, stable life outside of prison.
The funding afforded to re-entry programs could readily be called “common sense economics.” That is, instead of building newer, bigger prisons – and diverting more criminal justice resources to warehouse mentally ill individuals – the money is being used to move individuals toward recovery, rebuild lives and restore families.
Bullying isn’t a healthy or normal rite of passage. Rather, children who are bullied can suffer lasting damage. Carrie Little, program coordinator/educator at Family & Children’s Services, has tips to help parents figure out if their children are being targeted and recommendations for dealing with bullying situations.
No one ever said parenting is easy. But thankfully, there is help. Family & Children’s Services is offering classes aimed at helping parents get through tough times with their teenagers and blended families. Both Active Parenting of Teens and Active Parenting of Stepfamilies provide practical tools for families looking to reduce conflict, open lines of communication and form stronger bonds.
Click here to read an associated Tulsa World article.
Active Parenting of Teens addresses topics that include technology usage, drug prevention, teen bullying, brain development, discipline improvements, communication and sexuality. Active Parenting of Teens will be held from 6-8 p.m. Monday evenings, January 30-March 5.
Click here to watch a short video about Active Parenting of Teens.
During Active Parenting for Stepfamilies, adults learn about realistic expectations, various parenting styles, communication and problem-solving, merging varying values and cultures, and strategies for kids living in two households. Active Parenting for Stepfamilies will be held from 6-8 p.m. Wednesday evenings, January 25-February 29.
Both classes will be held at the Family & Children’s Services Central Office at 650 S. Peoria; each class is $20 per session or $25 for the attendance of two family members, plus $20 for a required book. To register or receive more information, call 918.560.1243 or e-mail education@fcsok.org.
Oklahomans’ generosity is legendary. And yet still, every December, it’s humbling and overwhelming to see the number of gifts Oklahomans provide to clients of Family & Children’s Services.
Hundreds of individuals, families and companies pulled together to make the 2011 holiday season a happy one for clients of Family & Children’s Services. Here are just a few of the images and brief stories that warmed our hearts.
Preschoolers from Channing Day School collected and delivered toys for clients of our Child Abuse and Trauma Services program. After dropping off their trucks, blocks, games and other toys, the young students joined our program staff in a round of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
Bikes for Tykes wheeled in with 180 children’s bicycles and helmets for children in our various treatment and family support programs. A number of the bikes also went to children with mothers participating in our Women in Recovery program.
Carol White, pictured above with her “elves,” provided holiday assistance to 28 families this year. Carol provided at least two toys, clothing items and books to each child on her list, and clothing and household items for the adults. Carol has been a program partner since the inception of Holiday Assistance 16 years ago.
The accounting department at Williams Companies collected a bin full of HUGS (hats, underwear, gloves and socks) to keep little ones warm through the winter.
To everyone who contributed in 2011 – both to our clients and in direct support of our agency programs – thank you. May you be filled with the same joy in 2012 that you provided to the clients of Family & Children’s Services.